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   WASHINGTON, D.C. (AD) -- It
turns out Congress was saluting
the memory of the wrong evolutionist
when it officially unveiled the monument
in front of the Smithsonian's Museum
of Natural History earlier today.
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   For weeks it had been believed that
staff member Chris Krolczyk had died
from suffocation after being unable to
remove his head from his rectrum while
searching for proof of evolution last
month.
   It turns out Krolczyk has just returned
from his five-week vacation in the Montana
boondocks and has turned up alive and
well, puzzled by all the fuss being made
about him.
   The Smithsonian, along with a team
of forensic pathologists, has just performed
another autopsy -- the victim's head is
still up his rear end -- and, using DNA,
identified the deceased as David Iain Greig,
moderator of talk.origins.
   Greig hadn't been seen for two months,
even since  blackballing Ed Conrad from
posting truth and integrity in that news group.
   A White House spokesman, requesting
anonymity, said Congress most assuredly
will rip down the monument because Greig,
after all, is a Canadian who had absolutely
no business searching for anything on U.S.
government property.
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  Washington, D.C. (AD) -- Congress
this afternoon had its first look at the
new monument to the late Smithsonian
scientist who died in a gruesome
accident last month.
  The 73-foot monument, costing
$17.3 million, has been erected in
front of the National Museum of
Natural History building in which
Chris Krolczyk smothered when
unable to remove his head from
his rectum while trying to find
evidence of man's evolution.
  An autopsy revealed that Krolczyk,
a Republican, had accidentally picked
up a tube of Crazy Glue instead of
Vasoline to rub over his head when
he made the fatal plunge.
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Lawrence M. Small, Secretary of Smithsonian Institution, and members
of the administrative staff including Sudeep Anand Gary M. Beer Thomas
D. Blair William W. Brubaker Sheila P. Burke Simple Simon Virginia B.
Cllark John W. Cobert Jack the Ripper Bruce A. Dauer Ellen J. Dorn
David L. Evans Michael A. Headley, Digger O'Dell (manager of basement
burials) Herma Hightower Roseanna Roseannadanna Carole M. P. Neves
Neil Payne Voodo Medicine Man Neil Ridgley Dennis Shaw, James H.
Wallace Jr. Typhoid Mary Paul Wessel Amy Silkins Carely Whiteney,
Elizabeth Ziebarth Fearless Fosdick James Hobbins John Huera Catheryn
Hummel Carolyn Jones Nicole Krakora Thomas Lentz Evelyn Lieberman,
Alice Maroni A Little Dab'll Do Ya James McLaughlin Gary Mercer
Raymond Rye III GAO Department of the Interior Ghosts Bureau of
Stratigraphy and Paleontology Temple University Mars Bar Zip Code
Anthropology Paleontology sci.med Coal Mining Anthracite David Iain
Greig talk.origins Prehistoric Early Man Carboniferous Strata Walmart
Bonsai Bituminous Bering Strait extraterrestrial Hubble Space
Astronauts Universe Billy Meier Confusius Say British Newspapers
Conspiracy Petrified Bone Fossils British Broadcasting Corp. ABC NBC
CBS Fox MSNBC The Discovery Channel, The Learning Channel Travel
Genealogy Immanuel Velikovsky Ted Holden Neil Steede Woody Woodpecker
Catastrophism American Medical Laboratories CAT-scan Raymond
Dart Jeremy Dahl, Paul Myers Andrew Macrae Copernicus  Larry King,
Paula Zahn, Anderson Cooper, Aaron Brown Hedda Hopper
Jack be Nimble Jack be Quick sci.bio.evolution, Intelligent Design
American Medical Association American Roger Cuffey Association
of Physical Anthropologists New York NYC Tsuami sci.skeptic
miracles paranormal Fiddledesticks Huntley and Brinkley Diane Saywer
Roseanna Roseannada Barbara Walter Humphrey Pennyworth
Dr. Phil, alt.conspiracy, Wright Bros. Wrong Bros. Thomas Alva
Edison Howler Festival Archaeology Berlin Exhibit 5-inch Woman
Godzilla Mayor Koch General Swartzenegger,Clem Caddilehopper.
Britany Spears Richard Nixon Puxatawney Phil Gen. Douglas
MacArthur, National Medical Institute Ft. Lauderdale, Fla. Helen
Keller Tokyo Japan Pittsburgh Steelers Gorilla Monsoon Vatican
Joe Palooka, John Glenn Billy Meier Standard Time, Atilla the
Hun Dick Cheney Ross Perot Thomas Alva Edison Jack Auff,
JFK Nudist Colony The Star Spangled Banner gen2rev Walt
Disney Horse's a.s The Department of Interior Johns Hopkins,
Walmart The White House Stock Exchange David Sienkiewicz
sci..anthropology genealogy 60 Minutes Howard Cosell, New
York Yankees Talmud of Jmmanuel 911 Conspiracy Ocean
City (N.J. and Maryland) Li'l Abner Coca Cola Rita University of
Pennsylvania Michael Brown eBay Cndoleezza Rice Iraq Katrina
Reuters AP Assocated Press UPI United Press International
ABC NBC CBS Fox News CNN MSNBC Meet the Press Larry King Live
20/20 60 Minutes 60 Minutes II Time Newsweek People Life National
Enquirer Star Jay Leno, David Letterman, Barbara Walters, Chris
Matthews, Good Morning America, The Discovery Channel, PBS
British Broadcasting Corp. The Discovery Channel The History Channel,
Pravda, George Bush, U.S. Senate, U.S. House of Representatives
General Accounting Office GAO New England Journal of Medicine
Sherlock Holmes Philadelphia Inquier National Enquirer New Orleans
Martha Stewart Maury Povich Men Are From Mars... Montel Williams
Open Mike Oprah Winfrey Politically Incorrect Rosie O'Donnell Today
Daily Show The Ellen DeGeneres Show Jenny Jones Jerry Springer
Journey Home Last Call with Carson Daly Late Late Show with Craig
Kilborn Late Lunch Late Night with Conan O'Brien Late Show with
David Letterman Late World with Zach Maury Povich Show Michael
Essany Show Montel Williams Show O'Reilly Oprah Winfrey Show
Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher Rosie O'Donnell Show Tonight
Show Sen. Richard Byrd (the only honest courageous senator)
Marlboro k12.chat.teacher alt.obituaries Basket Case, Omar Bradley
Dagwood Bumstead, K-mart Streaker Heidi P. T. Barnum Nursing
Home Associated Press UPI Reuters Joe Palooka NASCAR Fox
News Barbara Walters Archdiocese of New York Mauch Chunk (Jim
Thorpe) Sex Symbol Google Yahoo East Coast Tsunami Meteor
Phila. Inquirer Washington Post Condoleeza Rice Saddam Hussein
Scooge McDuck Mickey Mouse Chevrolet Miller High Life beer
Yonkers Manhattan Project Guy Lombardo Felix Frankfurter FEMA
Frankfurt Germany Osama bin Laden Bare-a.s Naked Man on
the Moon Farce Brooklyn Dodgers Red Skelton Copernicus Immanuel
Velikovsky Hubble Extraterrestrials Jmmanuel Flying Saucers
Roswell Jeffrey Dahlmer Area 51 Charles Manson Gen. Schwartzenegger
and Galileo: "But STILL it moves!".
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Ed Conrad

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