Tina: "Hey Tommy, heard any good jokes?"
Tommy:  "Yeah, as a matter of fact I overheard this joke watching 2
guys fish".
Tina:  "Lay it on me Tommy".
Tommy:
"A 70-year-old Texas Rancher got his hand caught in a gate while
working cattle. He wrapped the hand in his bandana and drove his
pickup to the doctor. While suturing the laceration, the doctor asked
the old man about George W. Bush being in the White House.

The old Texan said, "Well, ya know, Bush is a 'Post Turtle.'"

Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked what a Post
Turtle was.

The old man looked at him and drawled, "When you're driving down a
country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced
on top, that's a Post Turtle."

The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued
to explain:

"You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he
can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help
the poor dumb bastard get down."

Tina: "HAHAHAHA....ya know, I never get tired hearing that one about
cousin George".

Helen

"Dammit, the viagra pill got stuck in my throat again"

"I wish I could fly."

"I don't care what the others are wearing. You are not leaving this
pond dressed like that!"

Draco